Mister Gossamer Monster

This is a 1952 Red Warner Brothers Monster...

His name is Gossamer (yes, that really is his name..I looked it up on Google).

This is a 2000 Red Ducati Monster 750...

His name is Gossamer. Goss for short ~ our vanity plates should be arriving
from the DMV any day now. Some versions of Gossimer were already taken,
so Goss will be sporting GOSSIMR on his fine Italian rear end.
*Mom, the chaps in this picture are bye-bye. Big armor pants now. Mucho protecto.

That wierdness hanging off my back is my hair. Really.

I've wanted a Ducati since November 2000 when a friend dared me to
sit on one. Love at first sit. More like ceaseless obsession.
Patience is not one of my strong suits, so 4 months of waiting was torturous.

I got Goss on March 18, 2001. Happy Day!
My pal Lorena made these chocolate mousse cakes to
commemorate the occassion. One Ducati logo, one Red Monster bike
and a Red Monster cartoon. Keep in mind that these cakes are
only 3 inches across. I'm still not sure how she freehanded that bike!

I adore riding Goss.  He is my first bike & incredibly easy to ride and control.
Many folks tried to talk me out of 750cc for a first bike, and I'm glad that I 
stood my ground.  Goss is only 390 pounds, low to the ground and is amazingly 
balanced.  Not to mention, he can also type.  Observe this clever email he posted
to the Ducati List on April Fool's Day:


> Help!  Someone please tell my hapless owner the recommended gear ranges
> (in mph) for my fabulous M750 engine.  She's new at this, bless her
> pointed little head, and yes, I don't have a tach, so that makes it
> harder, BUT that doesn't excuse the fact that she's shifting me too
> low!!! Oh the shame I endure when other bikes drive by!  The agony of
> never flexing my torque!  Desmodronics going to waste!  For crying out
> loud, I'm a Ducati, I don't deserve this!!!!   Sooo...if anyone could
> 'happen' to mention recommended gear/mph ranges for the M750 in a post,
> I know she'll see it and *I* would be most appreciative. Oh, and I'm
> already broken in (1,900 miles) & have no mods yet.
> 
> Must go, she'll be out of the shower in a few minutes.  I still have to
> sneak back out to the driveway, put on my rotor lock & wiggle back under
> my cover.  Dreaming of just *one* redline, sigh~
> Many thanks,
> Gossamer

I hardly had any time after work to ride the first week I had Goss.
The weather was exquisite. Excruciatingly sunny, warm and dry, as if to taunt me.
Trying to focus on work was damn near impossible.
My friend Burt drew this cartoon of my affliction, which was recently
identified by the CDC (Center for Ducati Conniving) as "Gossimitis" :

I learned to ride in November 2000 in the MSF (Motorcycle Safety Course).
I SWEAR by the class. I don't think anyone should learn to ride without it.
I'd like to certify as an MSF instructor after I get a few thousand miles
under my belt.  One thing they drilled into our heads was the importance of
good leathers...

Leather corset? check!
4" stiletto leather boots? check!
Leather pants? check!

JUST KIDDING MOM : )

YES, the bike *is* on, but only the electrical folks!
Don't send me nasty emails please. I put him in neutral
& got PUSHED 6 feet up the driveway, take a pill.

This is also a pretty decent view of le coif. Those are 200 small braids with
feathers on the ends. The color is *not* my hair. It's synthetic
hair that is braided in...the same stuff they use on Barbies and My Little
Ponies, just longer. They fly in the wind when I ride and cars tend to stay
very far back. I guess they think freaky hair makes a bigger dent. And hey, before
you knock the doo, note that I never suffer from helmet hair or mangled wads
of post-ride ponytail.

Seriously though, MSF really is the best gift you can give yourself as a new rider, IMHO
. And I don't take the subject of gear lightly. I ride geared to the teeth, no matter how short
the trip. My current arsenal of asphalt interface devices are:
- Arai Quantum Helmet
- Hein Gericke Armored Jacket
- Joe Rocket Kevltek Armored Pants
- Dianese BAP1 Spine Armor
- Double H Boots
- Held summer gloves
- Shatter Proof Corrective Lenses in frames SO ugly I look like Elvis Costello. See?

Ooooweee! Sexy Mama! Yack. Laugh while you can, cuz I'm wearing contacts now.

MODS that I have already done:
- windscreen, very happy with it
- adjustable levers, very very happy it
- devil duckie leading the way, very very happy with a hint of Grrrrrr
- 2Bros Low Mount Ovals - loud and yummy

Hey, got some time to kill? Fill out my housemate's boyfriend application.
All answers will be reviewed by our chicks-on-bikes household, so entertain us!
UPDATE-- Wow! We've had a lot of responses & we're still wading through them.
If we don't get back to you, it's just because we're a bunch of self-absorbed bitches & we're overworked dammit!
Don't take it personally. Don't assume that we don't like you. Don't let that stop you.
If you're feeling extra frisky, let your alter-ego fill the app out too...Enjoy!

http://netjaunt.com/rocketweb

RIDING DIARY

OK, a lot of you have asked about the diary. Yes, I'm not keeping up with it. No, I didn't crash or get rid of the bike. Truth is, I'v been spending all of my free time riding or working on the bikes instead of making diary entries. So, here in a nutshell are highlights since May:

Went on a Doc Wong Ride - fell over at a stop sign - First DROP!
First MC races EVER - WSBK Laguna Seca - rode down every day all by myself! First Road Trip.
Started Lane splitting a lot sometime during the summer. Finally went over the Golden Gate Bridge.
Doing all of the maint and repairs on my bike - or at least trying :) NOT valves tho!
Rode to DRA in Vegas - first long ass road trip...also my first head shake!
First track school! Reg Pridmore's CLASS at Laguna in the rain - amazing!
Purchased Monster #2 - Filippe. He's a cosmetic salvage destined for track use.
Finished fixing Fil & ready for him to be street legalized by the DMV.

The Newbie View of things

March 22 : Day 3. I was feeling pretty good with the clutch and throttle finally, so I decided to go a few blocks from home. Well... I accelerated wide on a left turn and drove us right into a curb. Oh, MOM, that's just a joke, ha ha, skip this part ok? We went all over the place, except down, miraculously. Looks like all those years of riding horses came in handy. Horse dart left, Erin hang on. Horse buck and rear, Erin stay on. Motorcycle hit curb, Erin stay on :) Looking back, I know exactly what I did wrong. I got into the turn, glanced at the curb and said to myself "uh oh, there's a curb....I'm so scared of that curb I best stare right at it." You know what? If you WANT to hit something, look at it. It's quite simple, elegant really. Look, stare, BAM! It really scared the piss out of me when I stopped 5 minutes later & had a chance to think about it. I learned an important lesson about looking *through* my turns & got away with a scratch in my rim & a scuffed left knee in my chaps. I am still counting my blessings and planning to get armored pants immeadiately.

April 7: Hiked up to MotaGear in Berkeley today (in the car) to shop for *real* pants (chaps suck, unless you could function without your butt) After trying on multiple pair of leathers, I settled on Joe Rocket Kevtek Armored Pants. They fit much better than the leathers I tried on, I mean who wants to pay $450 to look like the back side of a barge? At $150, the JR's saved me some serious cash and kept my vanity intact. Now THAT'S good shoppin! On the way home, I picked up my rear stand at Munroe & snagged the Dainese BAP1 Spine Armor I've been promising Mom I would buy (and wear). I'm now armored from head to toe & have a stand to prop Goss up in the driveway for some long overdue chain TLC.

April 8: Goss turned 2000 miles today. I had my first 'no fear of leaning a little bit" ride.
Amazing how much better turns go with a lean. Goss is just glad to finally have some
scuffs on the sides of his tires...that straight wear down the middle thing was mighty embarrassing.

April 11: Goss's transmission locked up right as we drove into work today! Turns out he has
a leaky clutch slave & the clutch line was dry. YIKES! So, I did my first ever bike repair & filled
& bled the clutch. Woo hoo! Shifting like a dream again! We're off to Munroe Motors for a (warrantied)
seal replacement.

April 16: went for my first freeway ride today, 40 miles up to San Francisco for a new
clutch slave seal at Munroe. Whoa. It sure didn't *seem* like a windy day, but when you're going
75mph without fairings or a windscreen you're basically a sail. So, I just laid down on the
tank & re-prioritized my list of mods. Windscreen just shot all the way up to #2 on the mods list ; )
As luck would have it, Goss locked up again 8 blocks away from Munroe. I pulled over & let him cool
down a bit, then we chugged and lurched 8 blocks through the Mission down to the shop. The guys had Goss in and
out in about 4 hours. Talk about a completely different bike!! And just when I was getting
good with the clutch. Ah well.

April 27: I was highest bidder for a set of adjustable levers on eBay. Stuart Smith at SpareShack in the UK. He's great to deal with!! I can't wait for them to arrive! I forsee a weekend in the driveway with tools...ah bliss.

May 1: Goss is now sporting his vanity plate "GOSSIMR". So, in case you don't recognize us by my
technicolor coiffure, you can always tell by our plates. Oh wait, I took the braids out yesterday, so now
I look quite normal. Next set will hot pink, red, orange and yellow after my brother's wedding in late June. A month with normal hair. This sucks. Helmet hair. yuck.

May 2: Got a cool Ducati circle-D billet cover from my buddy, Ed. Goss is getting jewelry!
Ed and his friend, Paul (fellow Ducatisti) discussed light mounts for the set of PIAA 510s
that I want to add below Goss' stock headlamp. It looks like Ed and Paul will be able to
machine a really trick bracket for mounting the PIAAs. I'm quite happy about it, since I can't
ride at night until I get new lights (aka can't see diddly doo)...what the heck was Bologna
thinking when they slapped that headlamp on the Monster?

May 5: Kinda bummed that I couldn't go to Sears Point this weekend : ( I already
had plans that I couldn't miss, but lo and behold, on the way back from my outing I got stuck
in traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge right as everyone was coming home from Sears Point! If you
have to be stuck in traffic, make it a gorgeous day on the Golden Gate Bridge with *hundreds* of
motorcycles streaming past you between the lanes. What a beautiful site! I lost count of all the Ducs
that passed me, but man did I have fun jumping around in my car every time one went by.
I must have looked like quite a goob - spazzing all over the driver's seat each time Les Desmos graced my lane. Hee hee.

May 10: For some reason, my turns improved immensely. Good entry speed & no hesitation. Finally a step forward with my turning anxiety.

May 12: My housemate, Miss Rocket J. Squirrel, has brought me a true one of a kind gift. A glow in the dark Devil Duckie. Pic should be up soon. He's going to reside atop Goss's headlamp once I find some industrial strength velcro.

May 15: Put on my new adjustable levers! Holy Cow, I am kicking myself for not doing this sooner. My hands are SO much happier now & my clutch control takes so much less effort! The mod itself did not go as smoothly as I had anticipated. Being over-eager and non-versed in this type of thing, I went for the first screw I saw (yes, ha ha, your very funny, now get your mind out of the gutter). It turned out to be the adjuster screw...fruitless, duh. After a bit of *thinking*, I got the correct bolt/nut & the levers came right off. Unfortunately, the NEW levers didn't quite fit! The lip of the adjuster plate hit the clutch housing, just about 1/16" shy of the bolt holes lining up. Hmmm. Hmm. So, a quick trip to the hardware store & back with a metal file. Now, keep in mind that I've castrated horses & fed the, er, uh, to dogs, um, nevermind. Anyway, let's just say that I'm not too squeamish about stuff, BUT taking a metal file to Goss made me pretty twitchy. I don't recommend this for the faint of heart. After a few strong swipes, the levers fit fine & off we went.. Levers now 1.5 inches further in & I'm happy as a clam. All gain, no pain.

May 16: Yeah! 2300 mile mark today, that means I finally hit 500 miles in the saddle : ) Ms. Squirrel & I rode around Palo Alto terrorizing yuppies. For some reason they assume that 2 motorcycles riding near each other in the same direction of travel constitutes a gang and should be feared. Boooowahahahhahhhaaaaa! If they had only known that we were on our way to lounge around at Peet's coffee sipping our double tall half-and-half mocha lattes with extra whip creme...Shiver me timbers, we're just scary as can be.

More to come!